I moan about my students because it’s funny. Well, I think it’s funny and that’s what counts, n’est-ce pas?

Mostly, of course, they’re fine. Some are even good. One or two are excellent. The interesting ones are stupid, lazy, ignorant and make good copy. If it bleeds it leads; if they’re stupid, something that rhymes with stupid that means ‘Posting it to my socials’.

And you’re right, I should get around to compiling all their stupidities into a book. I will do one day, promise. I may even have a Scrivener project about that, in fact, come to think of it. Must have a look one day.

A fairly common entrant in my ‘Good grief’ postings are school administrations. This week one surpassed themselves – not easy – by telling me that they hadn’t paid my most recent bill because I haven’t sent them back a piece of paper they need from me. It is, apparently, irrelevant, that they have never sent me this piece of paper and that, in fact, they haven’t even told me what the piece of paper might be (I have lots of pieces of paper that they need, including some they don’t even know they need). This is a regular theme with school administrations who, I suspect – know, indeed – are operating with out-of-date HR manuals from 2020 which have different lists of ‘Pieces of paper you need to collect from Chris Ward’ than the current list of bits of paper they actually need from me. I am much more up to date on this sort of stuff than they are, but then I can’t even pretend to their levels of vast incompetence. They all have Masters degrees in incompetence.

Another spiffing example of stupidity came at the end of last month. I can’t send this particular school a bill until the end of the month, but they have to receive my bill before the end of the month or it will take two months to pay it. Sorry, they say, Law Of Physics, Impossible To Pay A Bill If It Arrives After The End Of The Month. So I had a class on the last day of the month and sent it to them at 16:30 on the day of that last class. They sent it back to me the next Monday saying that they could not accept bills sent before the end of the class, which officially finished at 17:00. And they all go home at 17:00 so, they confirmed, they wouldn’t see the bill until the Monday morning by which time it would be too late for payment that month and so I’d have to wait two months for it to be paid. I shouted at them a lot about this, including to their boss, and they’ve – reluctantly and exceptionally, just this once you understand as a special favour and not at all because we’re stupid – agreed to pay it this month. Well, it’s now the end of the month and the money hasn’t arrived. Of course.

A couple of weeks ago I was sent a job advert for a position as a chef de partie in a nice restaurant in the Cotswolds. Accommodation, food, laundry all included and a salary above what I earn at the moment. I could do the job easily – I did it for five years after all, although that was 15 years ago now – and I have to confess that I’m tempted. And I’ve also been getting lots of ads on my podcast feed trying to persuade me to become a teacher in England, again for more money than I’m earning now.

And then I walked on the beach this morning and watched the sun rise and decided to stay.

Sunrise over Carnon harbour, November 2025