Back in Avignon after three weeks cooking other people’s Christmas, New Year and other festive meals. In three different countries, no less; England, Scotland and Switzerland – the hateful, right-hand, German-speaking-only-you-vill-obey! part of Switzerland, too. The part that’s a four hour train ride from the civilised, left-hand, un croissant monsieur? French-speaking part.

I cooked lots of interesting things; pheasant deux fa̤ons, for example Рconfit the legs and roast the crowns and use the bits you rip out of the crowns to make a nice stock for the gravy. Pheasant, like much poultry and game, needs one cooking time for the breasts and a bit longer for the thighs and if you leave them whole and cook for the thighs the breasts are too dry; vice-versa and the legs are too rare. Confiting slowly (I used goose fat) and at a low temperature allows you to leave them pinkish (as they should be Рcook at 60 degrees or so) but still cooked through. Halve the crowns at service, everyone gets a leg and a breast portion and is happy with that. First time with pheasant for me, worked very nicely.

I also made up some wild mushroom casseroles, which works very well with the dried variety; soak them appropriately, scoop the mushrooms out and filter the liquid, fry off a couple of shallots then add the mushrooms and cook until they stop steaming; gradually add back the soaking liquid – just cover them, allow that to almost evaporate, barely cover again and repeat until all the liquid has gone; then repeat the process with the alcohol of your choice – port, sherry, Noilly Prat, something nice and fortified – three or four times; then repeat again with some good stock – I like veal, it gives a nice meaty flavour. Finish with enough stock to make the casserole liquid, monter au beurre, then turn into individual ramekins and cover with a circle of puff pastry, decorated with posh leaves and a few holes to let steam out. Bake at 180 for about 20 minutes, delicious. In fact I think this is my favourite new starter.

An old starter revisited was seafood risotto. Make the risotto (fry off shallots in lots of butter, add rice, faire nacrer – sorry, don’t know the English for that, it means let the rice go transparent) with preferably fish stock, although this time in Switzerland I used the vegetable variety and very well it worked too. Then when done throw in a few hundred grammes of chopped smoked salmon and, at the very last moment, a couple of handfuls of roquette salad. Decorate on the plate with baked prawns and a few more roquette leaves. I served this with a prawn sauce – shell the prawns (never, ever buy cooked, you can’t get the alimentary canals out and who wants to eat prawn shit?) and make a stock with the heads and liquids therein (very, very tasty indeed that green stuff, don’t throw it away). Pass the stock through a moulin à legumes if you have one (those French potato mashers where you pour stuff into the giant funnel-shaped machine and turn the handle at the top) to smash up the heads, or if you’re lazy give it a whizz in the robotchef to chop them up, then filter them through a fine sieve. Reduce this down by half, stir in fresh cream, season, voilà almost free, truly delicious sauce.

In fact, as usual I like doing starters more than mains or puddings (although bread and butter pudding made with real Italian Pannetone cake and whole-egg cr̬me anglaise Рit puffs up to twice its resting size Рis a new winner with me), as I have since I was Chef de Partie des Entr̩es at Les Agassins with Jean-R̩mi. Mains always seem to end up as protein, veg, starch no matter how you play. Perhaps I should open a Tapas restaurant?

I’ve worked for some delightful people and in some interesting kitchens; two of them had Agas which, apart from a couple of weeks with Steve (and thanks to whom I know how to use the things – cheers Steve!) I’ve never used before. Now I love them and, come the glorious day, we’ll have one in our kitchen. Perhaps.

I used to travel with tonnes, almost literally, of kitchen equipment; now I’ve learned to make do and travel with just my knives, madeleine silicone moulds and a couple of cheffy mouling rings. Even more restrictive airline baggage weight limits don’t help, I have to say. And in fact I’m doing my best to never, ever, ever travel on Ryainair again – I’ve already booked on Easyjet from Marseilles for my next two return trips, so badly have Ryanair pissed me off. I get that they want to maximise their profits, and get that they’re doing so by pretending to help their passengers pay as little as possible. I also get that they’ve failed to do this in any sort of fashion which makes you think they regard you, the paying customer, as anything more important than a dog turd. Flights advertised on their website as costing €0.02 actually cost nearer €50 because they fail to include the compulsory airport taxes we’re all obliged to pay. Also, they limit checked baggage – checking in a suitcase sir? That’ll be a fiver! – to 15 kilos where everyone else allows 20. This is a real problem for me as my suitcase itself weight 7 kilos and my knives 6; add in a pair of knickers and my kitchen shoes and I’m overweight in more ways than one and have to struggle to cram all my clothes into a carry-on rucksack. And then, last time I travelled from Montpellier having carefully obeyed all the rules an ASSHOLE couple got onto the plane last carrying – I am honestly not making this up – 17 (yes, SEVEN FUCKING TEEN) different items of luggage, including an entire hi-fi with three large speakers. Did anyone say, “Erm, one piece of carry-on luggage each, Sir and Madam”? Did they fuck. Instead the cabin crew squished up everyone else’s coats and carryons to make room. And the one actual suitcase they carried on was so heavy that the cabin steward was physically incapable of picking it up and so had to store it in one of the unused food lockers. So, I hate Ryanair because they make it plain I’m a worthless piece of shit. Message received and understood, roll on the day Easyjet take over even more of your routes.

And, hurrah! Easyjet will be flying out of Montpellier from next spring! Oh, frabulous joy!

I had three flights on British Airways over the holidays and it was a real shock to be given free food – albeit a sandwich and a nudge-nudge Breakaway bar – and FREE booze! Gin and tonic, bottle-ette of red wine, fizzy water and a tea all at no extra charge! Bargain! Especially as my clients paid for the tickets.